Frustration speaks.....
Should I be happy by remembering my good old academic days or should I be sad on present fucking academic days ???
Today also came up with another flop show as I had seen my miserable grades of last semester. By the way, is it new milestone in the series of flop shows ?? (The last entry was my GATE result as I have got forgettable rank...) Whenever I try to give pain to my memory to fetch me in flashback, I feel that I have some memorable days till my intermdiate education. Those began to turn in miserable days when I took admission in this institute. From the first day to till now, I am feeling that I am fading away and away. I used to get frustrated with my academic performance and knowledge whenever I ask myself if I am going to be an IT professional ?
In this semester also, out of six regular subject & one self study subject, I have got regular classes of only two subjects, which are also not upto the mark. Three years have passed here and after two more years (hoping the same), I would complete master's degree. If all things would happen like this, would I be able to satisfy the engineer who is inside me???
Hey! as I have written above and also understand it, still I am unable to help myself. I want to satify the engineer of inside me but not trying to satisfy him . why ? why? why?
Am I faded away or burned out?? Am I lack in will power or confidence or firm determination?? Am I full of negative energy or my enegy has been got blocked or somewhat else is there???
No! No! No! neither I have been burned out nor faded away. Someday, sometime, somewhere, someone special told me to remember four simple words, "I can do it". So lets give a try to these four words to make a complete sentence in true sense.....
PS: while I am writing above crap, I am remembering some lines.....
"Peechhe mudkar mat dekh,
tu nahin barbaado mein,
aasmaan ki taraf dekh,
teri manzil hai sitaaron mein....."
"Door manzil hai teri, tu akela hai maanaa,
lekin in mushquilon se, raahi na tu haar jana.
yeh soch kar bheed se tu nikal, tu hai sabse alag, tu hai sabse juda,
chal sir utha, jo hua use bhool ja, yeh kal hai tera, haan yeh kal hai tera....."
Today also came up with another flop show as I had seen my miserable grades of last semester. By the way, is it new milestone in the series of flop shows ?? (The last entry was my GATE result as I have got forgettable rank...) Whenever I try to give pain to my memory to fetch me in flashback, I feel that I have some memorable days till my intermdiate education. Those began to turn in miserable days when I took admission in this institute. From the first day to till now, I am feeling that I am fading away and away. I used to get frustrated with my academic performance and knowledge whenever I ask myself if I am going to be an IT professional ?
In this semester also, out of six regular subject & one self study subject, I have got regular classes of only two subjects, which are also not upto the mark. Three years have passed here and after two more years (hoping the same), I would complete master's degree. If all things would happen like this, would I be able to satisfy the engineer who is inside me???
Hey! as I have written above and also understand it, still I am unable to help myself. I want to satify the engineer of inside me but not trying to satisfy him . why ? why? why?
Am I faded away or burned out?? Am I lack in will power or confidence or firm determination?? Am I full of negative energy or my enegy has been got blocked or somewhat else is there???
No! No! No! neither I have been burned out nor faded away. Someday, sometime, somewhere, someone special told me to remember four simple words, "I can do it". So lets give a try to these four words to make a complete sentence in true sense.....
PS: while I am writing above crap, I am remembering some lines.....
"Peechhe mudkar mat dekh,
tu nahin barbaado mein,
aasmaan ki taraf dekh,
teri manzil hai sitaaron mein....."
"Door manzil hai teri, tu akela hai maanaa,
lekin in mushquilon se, raahi na tu haar jana.
yeh soch kar bheed se tu nikal, tu hai sabse alag, tu hai sabse juda,
chal sir utha, jo hua use bhool ja, yeh kal hai tera, haan yeh kal hai tera....."
posted by In search of joy at 8:40 AM
4 comments
